Terrible Twos... at One?

Just recently, my friend was talking about how her one year old has started throwing fits. She was wondering if this was normal that the fits had started so early or was she really in for it during the “terrible twos” due to this early onset.

Many other friends remarked about how their one year olds were already doing this as well. Many of our children have also taken to laughing or smiling at us when we tell them “no” or not to do something. That one really takes the cake.

Let me describe a little scene that commonly takes place in my house these days… Zach is actually a perfectly lovely baby but he is super focused in that, once he sets his mind on something, if he isn’t allowed to do it, it is very frustrating to him. Sometimes he sits silently looking at what he is not allowed to do, processing that this action is not going to take place and eventually comes to peace with it. Other times he throws himself on the floor (face first, I might add), crying and slapping the ground with his hand. When this occurs, I look at my son and as I start laughing at him I say “that’s ridiculous,” and walk away. When he has calmed himself (usually only about 30 seconds later), I sit with him and discuss (yes, with my 11 month old because I think they know more than they let on) what a more appropriate and helpful response might have been in that circumstance.

I was told by one of my friends, whose daughter is now 3, that “terrible twos” actually start in the second year of their life and stretch through until they are 3- that is why it is called the “twos.” While I have yet to experience this myself, and I know I am in for it, that concept makes sense to me. My understanding is that the “twos” are so terrible because they can’t fully explain themselves and what they want yet, so they get frustrated. A couple things that evidently help that are: teaching them sign language as they can effectively use that before they can verbalize appropriately, constant and clear boundaries, validation of their frustrations, and plenty of activity so that they continue to learn and grow and don’t get bored and frustrated.