...I would argue that it is sometimes the pain in things that make you appreciate them the most... it is my unconditional willingness to endure the middle-of-the-night feedings, the cleaning up of vomit, the screaming for no good reason, etc that makes me realize how much I love my child and love raising him...

Friday, January 27, 2012

The Burdens of The Goops

The baby has been battling the goops and coughs for a couple weeks now. When the baby is sick I pretty much feel like the worst person in the world. Though as he seems miserable, I am sad that I can’t make him feel better, generally it is just a pain in the rearing to deal with and I hate it for that reason. Yea, no one has to tell me- I’m self-centered and probably shouldn’t have become a mom.
I do stay though. At least I don’t run. Some moms run, right? I'll hold on to that. I rock him, and cuddle him, and give him medicine. I still love him though he looks like a creature from the goop lagoon. I celebrate by clapping with him when he sneezes and A LOT of snot comes out. That’s right, I celebrate snot.
I AM grateful that this is an illness my child’s immune system will straighten out. That’s not the case for everyone so I hold on to that too.
Empathy isn’t my strong suit. Sometimes I just want to look at him and say, “well, you shouldn’t have put that cup in your mouth that the other baby had just slobbered on- that was a bad idea wasn’t it- learn your lesson.”

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