You know, I’ve spent the last couple weeks feeling like a bad mother. The baby’s nothing but sick and I guess I don’t feel the way I think I should. While I don’t like him feeling bad I kind of look at it as just a way of life- sometimes you’re sick. So I don’t feel overly empathetic or nurturing. It’s just something he’s got to learn to deal with and I will help him in whatever way possible.
I’ll tell you what I do feel. Irritated. I get sick of listening to the whininess that comes with him not feeling well and thus not resting well. I am tired from waking up to crying and coughing all night and that makes me especially irritable. I am frustrated with the fact that he needs to eat to be strong and get better but that he fights me every step of the way right now. A good mother is NOT supposed to be irritated with her poor little sick baby but I am. So I have felt like that makes me a bad mother.
It struck me today how false that is really. As I was checking the day care cam for the 20th time, I realized that this is something a good mother does. I worry about him. In fact- I worry about him better than anyone else. I worry about him having a bad day because he isn’t feeling well and they can’t love on him the same way I do. I worry that he isn’t getting better. I worry about him having to sit in snot soaked clothes because they don’t wipe his nose as much as I do. Other moms might not be as good at worrying as I am- that isn’t their special talent but it is mine.
I also tell it like it is. I’m not wallowing in his sickness and letting it stop time. We are carrying on as normal just a little slower and more cautiously. I always propel him forward. I encourage him to get better rather than focusing on how he feels bad. I actively research to find things to help his symptoms. I am really good at making sure he has the best support possible.
These are things that make me a good mother. These are my strong suits. I can be good without being like all other moms.
And you know what? No one loves that boy like I do. No one. And that makes me good too. It’s at least gotta count for something.
I'm sure you're a good mother. I think most people feel the same way but just don't want to admit it; so you can add honesty to your list of attributes that make you a good mom.
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