A Mother’s Stream of Consciousness about Speech Delay

So Zach’s (20 months old) still not really talking.

More in depth description: He babbles CONSTANTLY but doesn’t really say intelligible words- he will say a babble, I will say what, and he will say the exact same babble with the same inflection as the first. He does have a few words he says but not consistently. He does consistently say yes or no (and mean it) when asked questions and wants. He clearly understands language pretty well in-depth. I can give him multistep instructions (put away your car and then go upstairs, pick up that napkin and put it in the trash) and he carries them out. He communicates VERY well using sign language and will put together up to three word sentences using that (more food please, please mommy up, etc).

How I feel about it: I go back and forth between being concerned and not being worried at all. Generally, I feel like he will get there and that clearly he has all the tools. I also am very impressed/ encouraged with his understanding of language and feel like that is more of a hurdle than the speech itself.

Where I get concerned is when other people start asking questions about it or acting concerned and really that just makes me self-conscious because I feel like I should be more concerned or doing more. I also worry, when I am talking to others about this, they will say some magic words that will trigger some major anxiety about this issue, so I almost just want to say to them- LISTEN, I’m not worried so don’t give me a worried expression and ask me a bunch of questions that are going to make me go there. Here is what generally happens when it comes up with people that he isn’t really talking yet- they look at him in a very inquisitive manner and say, “oh, it will come” and then they start trying to get him to talk. This ultimately leads to Zach looking at them like he is an animal with no concept of the sound that is coming out of that person’s mouth and makes it look (in my mind) like I am in denial and this is a bigger problem than I give it credit for.

So, what do I do? Research. Here is a comforting thing- when googling, “20 month old not talking” (which in my mind is an exaggeration in the negative direction because he does say words and babble), you get a TON of people asking the exact questions I am asking and saying their child exhibits almost the exact behaviors. In almost every article and on almost every Q&A string the mother/ caretaker comes back and says that one day it just clicked and the kid is fine. I actually have yet to find a response contrary to that (but in all fairness, I am not reading them all). If that many people have experienced this then it really can’t be so bad... right?

Should I work with him more? This is the question that probably haunts me most of all because a positive answer would mean that I am not being proactive and doing all that I can and need to be doing for my child. Yikes. I don’t know if I can face that possibility. We should probably read to him more. We should probably repeat words for him more. We should probably force him to talk more. I just don’t know what I think about all that. This leads to guilt of being a working mom and all that jazz. I tend to consider myself a pretty attentive (at times probably overly so), involved, and engaging parent. Maybe I’ve been lying to myself. Hmmm.

In the end: no one that works with kids regularly (ex: pediatrician, day care, other parents) is concerned. We may need to intervene more in the future but for now I need to just relax and enjoy my crazy little 20 month old (who, I’d like to say throws surprisingly few fits because he can communicate so well using his sign language). ..

… if only I could tell my over-active mind and imagination that.

He’ll be fine. He’ll be fine. He’ll be fine…